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Reflecting into the past

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Feeling helpless......

Where do I even begin? My heart hurts deeply for Gracy..... I want to take her pain from her but I just can't...... I want to help her make healthy choices but all she wants right now is what's familiar and that is pain for her...... even though she wants to get rid of the pain..... finding my place with her right now is a hard thing to do..... I don't know where the boundaries need to be but I do know there need to be them...... I made a mistake in allowing her to depend way too much on me and being her sole support..... so now she thinks i'm abandoning her...... that couldn't be further from the truth..... I want to make the relationship more healthy so I CAN be there for her and guide her..... but boy do I not feel equipped.... but one thing I know is this..... God doesn't call the equipped... He equips the called..... and I have been called to minister to and mentor Gracy.... therefore, He will equip me to do so..... but I know I can't do it in my own strength.... it must come from Him and Him alone...... I just want Gracy to know that I love her more than she'll ever know and I'll do anything for her.... but I won't enable her..... she must learn that not everyone is going to abandon her..... I know a lot of people have.... and I've experienced the same..... but I know God will put the right ppl in my life at the right time.... and for some reason, He has chosen me to be in her life right now to minister to her and I am trying my best to answer that call..... I just feel so helpless right now......

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