Reflecting into the past

Sunday, November 3, 2013


Hey y'all!
Man, I've been working my butt off! I just traveled to Raleigh, NC to do some video mystery shops which pay pretty darn good actually, but it is truly work! No complaints though... This is just my first time working in 7 years. That's what drugs did to me! I actually have a life now and am very happy in it.....

I have to say, though, I am really struggling now for some reason.... I am finding myself googling "legal ways to get high" and things like that. It's like I'm grieving the loss of all my drugs. I don't get it.... I'm so happy without them, yet I sometimes wish I had them back! What the heck is that all about? They stole so much from me! Why would I mourn the loss of something like that??? It's like I had a "love/hate relationship" with the pills. I almost feel like I was having a "love affair" with them and "cheating" on my husband with them! I know that might sound really weird to some of you, but it really feels like that!

I'm thinking of going back to therapy, because I was on drugs for like 13 years straight almost and therefore, my past was kind of blocked out, so to speak. I've heard from drug counselors before that when someone does drugs for so long and then they stop, when they stop, they are basically the same age mentally and emotionally that they were when they  started. So that would make me like 21 now. I'm like 21 in a 35 year old's body pretty much I guess. I'm having nightmares about the horrible things I endured before I got on drugs. I find myself thinking about those events more often than I'd really like to be. My last counselor said I should write about my past and it would bring healing. Write about it??? I'd really rather forget about it instead!! But she has the degree... maybe she has a point. Who knows?

I just thought I'd share a little bit of what's going on with me. I know if I shared all of this with my best friend (who I really need to call! I've been horrible with keeping in touch with her!) the first thing she'd say is "are you going to church?" And sadly, my answer would be "no." I don't have an excuse and I know I need to be in church as it truly is where the answers are. I need to be associating myself with other Christians where I can get support and positive socialization. I am going to commit to finding a church that I want to stick with and truly sticking with it. Next Sunday, I will have a Church picked out and actually GO!!

That's all for now! Don't be afraid to send me comments! Let me know you're there! I need your support too! Please!

Be good y'all!
God Bless,

Sunday, October 13, 2013

Ready to travel!!

Hey, it's me again.... I've been learning a lot about different ways to make money online.... needless to say, there are a LOT of scams out there! But I think I've found a couple of promising ways of making money.... I can't wait to make it big so that my husband and I can travel the country and see places I've always wanted to see!!

You might be wondering.... how am I doing without all the drugs? Life is amazing since I got off the pills..... I couldn't ask for more. God has blessed me in amazing ways.... I actually have energy everyday and I have a life now! Currently, I spend most of my time mystery shopping. Some people do this for extra cash or as a part-time job, but I do it FULL TIME. I spend anywhere from 2 to 12 hours a day out and about mystery shopping. Does everyone know what that is? Well, basically, I go to different businesses and portray myself as a normal customer and take mental notes of how I'm being treated, and how the product is being sold to me. I go to apartments (posing as someone who is needing to move soon), car dealerships (posing as someone who is in the market for a new car), cell phone stores, banks (posing as someone who is interested in switching banks), restaurants, and much more! I evaluate the service I'm receiving and then report it back to the mystery shopping company for whom I accepted the assignment. I'm registered with many, many mystery shopping companies. This is the best way to get lots of assignments and to be able to make it a full-time job. What I love about it is the variety of work I get to do, and the flexibility of hours. I basically set my own schedule and the pay is negotiable too. I can ask for more money if I don't think they are paying enough for the assignment, and depending on how desperate they are for someone to fill that assignment, they may or may not accept my bid on the assignment. Most of the time, they do. Apparently, there aren't too many mystery shoppers in my area, because I get most of the assignments I apply for. I love it!

On top of that, my husband and I just started a travel business. You should really check it out! It's at ! Have you ever thought about buying into a timeshare? Timeshares are a good concept, but we have something better to offer. Basically, we have all the luxurious condos that any timeshare has to offer, but the best part is, there are no maintenance fees! And if you want to do this as a business yourself (selling travel memberships), you can always write your vacations off on your taxes as long as you just pass out a couple of business cards while you are on vacation! Timeshares usually run anywhere from $1000 to $50,000, but there are also yearly maintenance fees which can add up quickly! Also with timeshares, you are usually limited to a certain week or two a year that you can travel and you usually have a home base that you have to travel to unless you pay the $199 fee to trade out your timeshare for another location. Fees, fees, fees! You don't have any of those fees with World Discovery Club. If you want to know more, simply go to and put your name and number in the information page and we will send you more information!

Join SociBuzz Now!

I'll have another website up and running in a couple of days too... I'll let you know when that's up and ready to go!

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Well it's been a LONG time since I posted to my blog.... I think I'm going to start blogging again....
Life has definitely changed a lot since I last posted. I am clean.... 9 months to be exact! I've been taking subutex and it's keeping me clean. Life has been wonderful since I got clean. I just found out, too, that the doctor I was seeing in Georgia was just sent to prison for 40 years for running a pill mill. He could have dang near killed me with all the drugs he was giving me. I was getting 240 roxy 30's, 90 dilaudid 8's, 60 opana 40's, 90 somas and 120 valium. I was slowly killing myself, I think. But I got tired of laying around half baked all the time and not really living a life, so I decided to get clean once and for all. It was HARD, but I did it and now life is wonderful! I'm actually working, too! My husband and I do mystery shopping together and it is fun most of the time. It's a variety of work and it pays pretty decent. We also just started a travel business. It's the World Discovery Club. Y'all should check it out at Just put your name and email in there and I'll send you more information about it. It's a wonderful business, really. It's like owning a timeshare without all the maintenance fees and best of all, you get to travel for really cheap!

World Discovery Club

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I'll be in touch.... I haven't felt this great in ...... actually, I don't remember EVER feeling this good! So glad I kissed drugs goodbye!!